Happy Birthday Anna Kathryn

October 26, 2005

You and me, on the day you were born.

I cried before my surgery, knowing that I would never feel you kick inside me again.







October 2006

You, at 1 year old.

I can't believe that it has already been a year since you were born. And yet, it seems I've known you forever.

I cry when I think of how much you've grown. You are already so strong willed and independent. You won't be my baby much longer.









Happy, Happy Birthday, my beautiful girl.

I love you!

Mommy

GOOD

For Sunday Scribblings,


Is “good enough” good? enough?

As much as I might like to convince myself otherwise...
As much as I may have convinced others otherwise...
What it really boils down to is this:

I don’t think I will ever be Good (Better? Best?) at all of the things I want to be. But maybe, just maybe, if I try really, really hard, it will be good enough. I will be good enough. For someone. For anyone. For me?

Time and Power

For Sunday Scribblings:

Time:

There are at least 64 definitions involving TIME, according to dictionary.com

“Freezing Time” is not one of them.


What would I do if I could “freeze time”?

• I would freeze in time the look that my husband had in his eyes on our wedding day.
• I would freeze in time the feelings of excitement when I saw the positive results of my pregnancy tests.
• I would freeze in time the last kicks I felt before giving birth.
• I would freeze forever the moment I first held each of my children. And the first time they crawled, and walked, and talked. And each of their firsts yet to come.
• I would freeze time to preserve the last moments I spent with each of my grandfathers.

It turns out that I DO have the power to freeze time. I freeze it with photographs. I freeze it in my memories. I freeze it in my heart.

I am not defined by a single moment in time, but by the passage of all the moments in my life. I hope to fill each moment with “times” worth remembering.



Power:

What super power would I want? My son is 4 years old and VERY into super heroes. He *is* Batman. When he asked me which super hero I want to be, my first thought was Plastic Man.

According to wikipedia, Plastic Man has the following abilities:
• Can stretch and shape his highly resilient body into any shape he can imagine, even ones with moving parts.
• Immune to telepathy.
• Possible immortality.
• Can stretch his limbs and body to superhuman lengths and sizes, with flexibility and coordination extraordinarily beyond the natural limits of the human body.
• Can contort into various positions and sizes such as entirely flat so that he can slip under a door or use his fingers to pick conventional locks.
• Can disguise himself by changing the shape of his face.
• No known limit to how far he can stretch his body.
• The only limitation he has relates to color, which he cannot change without intense concentration.


I wonder if this wish to be “plastic” is my sub-conscience trying to tell me that I’m stretched too thinly? Mommy guilt for being a full time worker? My insane obsession with being fat? Desire for achievement and greatness? Who knows? Who really cares?
Plastic Man is cool.

My Mom, The Butcher

...or other exciting names Anna Kathryn will call me when she learns how to speak.

Observe:


I think we can all agree that this is the most. beautiful. baby. girl. ever! But honestly - that hair! I botched the bangs! Oops! Sorry, baby. Mommy has hair issues.

But wait - check out those LASHES! Maybe she can do mascara commercials. Is there a market for infant mascara models?

Photo courtesy of Susie. More pictures found HERE.

Random Thoughts

Still perturbed.

Busy at work.

Losing a few pounds here and there - 44.2 in all. Weigh in again on Thursday.

Looking forward to cooler weather.

Jake just turned 4. He's so big and handsome. He's also very smart. His spirit is joyful, you can see a sparkle in his giant blue eyes.

Anna Kathryn is almost 1. She's started taking steps. 6 is the most I have counted at one time. She will make the cutest kiss smack with her mouth if you say the word "kiss" or when I tell her "I love you" in the morning. She loves the stuffed "rocking tiger" we have. It roars. So does she.

I am sad to not have babies anymore. But these kids are so awesome. I can't wait to see who they turn out to be.