My soul hurts

This has been a pretty rotten week. A very dear friend of mine lost her (ex)boyfriend to suicide over the weekend. The funeral was yesterday. There was still love there. Such a young life wasted. It's hard to watch someone you care about go through such pain. Mentally, I keep putting myself in her position and it takes me places I don't want to be.

If you pray, chant, hum, meditate, or throw out random acts of kindness, whatever it is you do - can you do it in her name?

WTF???

What is with the people who will hang up on you when you answer the phone? I mean, is it really THAT difficult to say - "sorry, I dialed the wrong number"? I hate rude people.

About me

1. What is your occupation? internal audit manager
2. What color is your underwear? black
3. What are you listening to right now? the sound of my keyboard
4. What was the last thing you ate? blueberry bagel
5. Do you wish on stars? yes
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? red
7. What is the weather right now? warm and muggy
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? my husband
9. What do you do in your spare time? what is "spare" time?
10. Favorite drink? non-alcoholic: real coke in a glass bottle with ice crystals, alcoholic: margarita- top-shelf, frozen, with salt.
11. Favorite sport to watch? LSU football
12. Have you ever dyed your hair? many times, many colors
13. Do you wear contacts or glasses? contacts
14. Pets? a cat - Fuzz - who we tried to give away, but were told she was "not adoptable"; so, after a month vacation, Fuzz is back with us
15. Favorite month? December
16. Who is your favorite singer? Rob Thomas
17. What was the last movie you watched? Cars
18. Favorite day(s) of the year? Christmas
19. What do you do to vent anger? cry (sob, actually) sometimes I also scream in the car at the top of my lungs
20. What was your favorite toy as a child? Ms. Beasley doll
21. Fall or Spring? spring
22. Hugs or kisses? kisses
23. Cherry or blueberry? blueberry
24. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? whatever
25. Who is most likely to respond? n/a - I'm posting on the internet
26. Who is least likely to respond? see above
27. Living arrangements? house with husband, 2 kids, 1 cat, and an insane amount of crap
28. When was the last time you cried? yesterday
29. What is on the floor of your closet? shoes
30. Who's the friend you've had the longest that this email is going to? n/a
31. What inspires you? sadly, I rarely feel inspired
32. Favorite smell? baby "stinky" feet
33. What are you afraid of? my kids dying
34. Plain, onion, blueberry, raisin bagels? blueberry (see question 4)
35. Favorite Car? Mercedes convertible - the kind I will never be able to afford
36. Number of keys on your key ring? 4
37. How many years at your current job? 2
38. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
39. How many states have you visited? 34, plus DC
40. How many cities have you lived in? 5
41. Pet Peeve? people who don't do what they say they are going to do
42. Hey what's your name? Kay


Feel free to add your answers in the comments.

A bug

I hate coughs that won't go away. Particularly when they occur in the same timeframe as the ONE thing I was looking forward to this month. My scrapbook weekend away. Grrr. And pass the Hall's.

Ouch

What was said:

Him: Your skinny friend with the dark hair from across the lake is going to lead the homeowners and start an association for the people who live on the lake.

Me: Who?

Him: (last name)........

Me: Oh - (first name)? I didn't know she was skinny.

Him: Oh yes, she's quite thin.


What I heard:

Him: Your skinny friend with the dark hair - you know the beautiful one - and you know, you're not skinny at all, fat cow. I wish I was married to someone like her.

Me: Who?

Him: (last name)........

Me: Oh - (first name)? I didn't know she was skinny (I think she was actually pregnant the last time I saw her)

Him: Oh yes, she's quite thin. And YOU'RE NOT. Cow. She's had kids too. Why don't you look like that?


Of course, it's all in my head. There was nothing malicious in his comments. How could he possibly have known that this girl is who I wanted to be in high school? She's beautiful, nice, has a great voice (both speaking and singing), and is (apparently still is) thin. Still, was the word "skinny" necessary in the description? And why does it hurt so much?

Anyway, I did what most fat wives would do. I took a hot bath and cried for 45 minutes. Then I got out, put on my PJs, went to bed, and cried myself to sleep. And he has no idea.

I am in Love

With my new closet. Double hanging racks. Shelves. A drawer.


Feel the organization potential. Heavy sigh.

Three Little Words

There are 3 little words that every Mom wants to hear. Maybe they are different for every Mom. Are they "I love you"? I think not. My husband is very adept at telling me that he loves me. For me, the words are "Let me go" - as in "let me go upstairs in the middle of the night to feed the crying baby." I'm still waiting to hear them. Don't get me wrong, if I ask him, he will go. Often with a grumble, but he'll do it. My dream is that one day I won't have to ask. Hey, we all have our dreams, right?

Hello

Hello there. Trying this blogging thing out. Not much time to post now. Hopefully, I will be back.